(my) Faith Matters (to me)
Thinking aloud, very loud, my indecision here for all to see.
Shall I step forward into my Faith:
1. Take 'introduction to minister' training.... I'm told it is one evening per week
2. Seek out a spiritual mentor... this a once per month sort of arrangement
3. Do the prayers during service, I'd be walked into it, I wouldn't have to write me own at first....
4. Become a communion assistant and help doll out the wine....
I reached out to a member of the clergy at my Church, he gave me some food for thought in dealing with a difficult relationship and I wanted to say thank you and discuss Faith/Christianity/Lent more.
So we went out for tea, I started off by saying, I'm probably the least christian christian at Church! He laughed and said sort of mmmmmm.....
Thing is my Faith is strong, I rejoice in my personal relationship with God, I pray and give thanks every day. I do not read my bible every day, despite that it is a beautiful version, a gift from my hub, very modern with a zipped teal leather cover, v stylish.
My prayers are not formal, I do not pray out loud. My prayers are a inner dialogue in my mind, talking to God. I give thanks, I ask him for help, I ask him to help others, I ask him to invest the holy spirit into me, and guide me to be kind and good. I apologise and announce for my sins, not big sins, you know having a little snipe about a colleague, moaning about a friends husband, being sick of my kids, being a bit judgemental, that sort of thing.
I do not think God will judge me harshly, I do not believe God to be the judgemental sort. My interpretation is very simple.... God wants us all to be good, with the guidance of Jesus and the Holy Spirit on hand, we can open ourselves to follow and walk in His footsteps. To worship/ love God, is right and good.
Rev. D mentioned that despite my claims of being a rubbish christian, I'm always happy and confident to share my Faith... that is true... anyone who has shown a bit of interest has heard me go on... I have to discuss my Faith, my love of God, and my willingness to give thanks and praise (I do sound a bit christian there....) as it is a big part of my life. As much as hub and children are, and I'm always ready with anecdotes about them. To know me, is to know I have a deep and meaningful relationship with God, I have his ear, and he has mine.
So, should I step forward, being busy isn't an excuse, if I wanted to, I'd make the time, I'll think it all over... maybe not all four things.... at once.
If I do do the prayers.... I'm going to do it Margi Clarke style and be the Scousest I can be... 'arrr hear our prayer like'.
Over coming weeks, I hope to share my Lent experience, so more Godly talk from me to come. #Joy #SorryNotSorry
NB the difficult relationship I alluded to is not my marriage... so far (16 years) Mikey and I have been getting on....